One way for you to get to know our family better is discover who we are NOT.
I, for example, am CHRISTOPHER, not CHIRISTOPHER (the first "i" inverted with the first "r"). Yet, as you can see in the scanned driver's license above, the state in which I live knew me as "Chiristopher" for a decade.
And, according to our most recent phonebook, I am no longer married to HEIDI. My new bride's name (and this is just between you and me, dear readers, so Heidi doesn't get all bent out of shape about my covert plunge into polygamy) is HEIDL.
I interrogated Heidi--er, Heidl--to see what other cases of mistaken identity she might be aware of in her family. Here is what I unearthed:
Her mom, RENEE GASSMAN has received mail addressed to RANGE GASSMAN and RENEE ASSMAN.
Her father, BYRON GASSMAN, has received mail to BYRIB GASSMAN.
Her sister, DEON GASSMAN, was listed in her high school yearbook as DEAN GRASSMAN. After marrying, the same sister, now DEON LEAVY, received mail for DEON SLEAZY.
And finally, HEIDI/HEIDL phoned in a take-out order to Cafe Rio a few weeks ago to be picked up by HEIDI YATES. When she arrived, they had no order for HEIDI YATES, but they did have an order for HAYLEE WHALES.
What about you? I invite you to post in the comments any humorous mistaken identities you may have endured in your life. Cheers.
NEXT STOP: Whalin' on the Air Guitar
4 comments:
Perhaps you have had this happen too with our same first names, but my first name is often shortened to "Christ" on junk mail and stuff. That's a bit heady for me...
And the reason I always say Christopher in print now is because I got tired of mail address to Mrs. Chris Bigelow.
Also, Esquire magazine used to mail my subscriptions to Chris Bizelow, which to me sounded like the magazine was slurring my name, perhaps having imbibed too many of its own liquor ads.
Hey with the name Jilynne, do you think anyone just looking at it can every say it. Let alone spell it when you give it. I have quit telling people it, I always give my last name now. It is a little easier. And Chris' name usually comes up as Field, Christop and caller ID so people have started calling him that. And we get quite a few things to Christ also. And my poor girls, Danika gets called Dan"e"qua all the time. I don't get that, and when I was in the hospital after having Alivia (said like Olivia), the nurse brought her in and said "Here is your cute little Allie-Via" I knew even at 3 in the morning that I did not name my child that. And poor Riley asks us all the time why we gave him a girl's name. IT WAS NOT A GIRL NAME BACK WHEN HE WAS BORN. Poor kid. We have scarred our children.
Yeah, we located your blog!!! Chris you are hilarious and such a great writer. No surprise there I guess. It was fun to catch up with you guys at dinner and read what has gone on the past little while. Please please call us soon we need a day of skiing. We just LOVE you guys!
Having a name of Nesasha Lacefield has always given me trouble. Here are a few favorites:
Wanasha (Can I mention that I don't have a W in my entire name?)
Masasha
Nesha
Natasha
Lancefield
Lessfield
Lassfeld
I don't bother saying my name anymore. I just spell it.
New person I'm meeting: What's your name?
Me: N-E-S-A-S-H-A L-A-C-E-F-I-E-L-D.
New Person: Oh that's pretty. How do you say that?
or
New Person: I know a Natasha. She's my ____ (name of type of relative).
Me: *resigned sigh*
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